Breaking down the wall.

Over the weekend i realised that some of the fears i had in this person that i held very dearly all came true and this morning it was just confirmed

Its amazing how easily you are swayed from the people who truly show you hope and love. I want to be bold and say all it takes is to give you something, but then i realise that we too gave you that and it went unnoticed, and in return i dont want to start assuming why we mean less then them. But I would like to think we have done more. We stood by you when you had the most difficult times, but you credit them for it. We encouraged you, we gave you hope and we gave you all the motivation you needed, and you still find some way to credit them for it. We made sure you had a freaking roof over head but yet you would rather credit them for it. Hell, we even comforted you when they hurt you, yet you will find some way to defend that as well. I dont think want to fool myself anymore by thinking that you do actually care for us, and that all that we were doing you appreciate.

I am so thankful that the debate society i come from is a family. I love the way our successes are shared across the board, and when one team does well everybody else is genuinely happy. I love how we have such a strong bond, that even if one of us stumbles and fall - be it personal or professional - we will be there backing each other up. I love how even if we have fall-outs with each other, in the debate arena we are a team and we are each others biggest cheerleaders. I love that there is no politics or power struggles. I love that there is no arrogance and show of superiority. I love that there is no team A or team B, only team MMU.

Its amazing how you have one credential to your name yet your heads have gotten to the size of Russia. I hate to imagine what it would be like if you broke into the international scene. Your arrogance will eventually be your downfall, when you realize that the only way you can get to top is when people are with you in that journey, and one day people will give up trying to find that nice kid we all knew once upon a time – the kid who ate humble pie and therefore, made us genuinely root for his success. Don’t flatter yourself by thinking you and your team deserve a glorified label, take a step back before your skills take a back stand to all your self glorification.

Another thing I love about my debate squad is how everyone helps each other, and knowledge is shared without any hesitance. How we truly want the newer kids to be able to beat the more senior debaters some day.

Are you so insecure with yourselves that you find it difficult to share your knowledge and your experience with your juniors who truly look up to you? Or is it purely out of the selfish need to hold on to that top spot. Let me tell you all something, they’re capable of creaming you, all three of you.

I’ve been known to be someone who’s very vocal with her opinions. If someone has hurt me or the people close to me and they make no effort in redeeming themselves, I see no reason as to why I have to polish their egos. But because you are blinded by your feelings and emotions, don’t take my opinions and thoughts and share it with other people as something else against me.

I heard that you trivialized my opinions of your beloved as propaganda. Rest assured, I would not put active energy into actually lobbying for anything about her. The only person I try to do that with is you, because I truly care for you and I was there when she hurt you. But who am I to think that was actually a bad thing for you right.

And finally, you speak of karma, but you don’t realize that karma is not in what you receive from others, but in what you do unto others.

If you havent noticed already, you've disapointed me, which is worst then pissing me off.