Hell hath no fury
When someone has managed to get themselves on my bad side, it takes a lot for me to give them the benefit of the doubt again. I don't generally have ill feelings for poeple unless they've really affected me or a loved one. I don't judge very quickly either. I'm the kind who thinks everybody in this world comes with coatings of sugar and spice and want nothing but the best for you. And usually, I'm pretty forgiving. But there is that line, and very few people have crossed it.
At this point, there are two people comfortably seated on the other side of that line. Whats eating me more is the way I have become towards them. I've had a lot of empty time on my hands this weekend and I disected both the situations. Hoping to find a glimmer which will allow me to handle this like how i've handled everyone else who have upset/angered/hurt/been total bastards. To let bygones be bygones. As the old cliche goes, to move on and give them another chance to prove themselves.
But i just bloody cant. Instead of thinking positively and trying to be forgiving, I react to them with all the spite and cynism every nerve in my body can conjure up. I have diologues in my head with prepared lines of what i will say to these people if they every stepped on my toes again. I have evil plans plotting in my head of how i want them to know that i feel this way about them. I have no qualms in telling people that i don't have any affection for them anymore.
Thats it. I dont have any affection for them anymore. For two people that i was once very fond of, I just cant bring myself to bury the wrong and look towards the right. The worst part is, in a far dark corner of my mind i get the nagging voice that these two characters will come back and hurt us even more. That all they've already done to us was just chicken feet.
Before, when i've been upset with someone, I keep quiet about it until i've dealt with it. If the person is around, I either play hypocrite pretend like nothing is wrong or just avoid them for the sake of steering clear of any unwanted situations until i'm ready for them again. But yesterday. Yesterday she was getting in my face again. Out came the wrath of me. No mincing or sugar lining.
And it felt so good.
At this point, there are two people comfortably seated on the other side of that line. Whats eating me more is the way I have become towards them. I've had a lot of empty time on my hands this weekend and I disected both the situations. Hoping to find a glimmer which will allow me to handle this like how i've handled everyone else who have upset/angered/hurt/been total bastards. To let bygones be bygones. As the old cliche goes, to move on and give them another chance to prove themselves.
But i just bloody cant. Instead of thinking positively and trying to be forgiving, I react to them with all the spite and cynism every nerve in my body can conjure up. I have diologues in my head with prepared lines of what i will say to these people if they every stepped on my toes again. I have evil plans plotting in my head of how i want them to know that i feel this way about them. I have no qualms in telling people that i don't have any affection for them anymore.
Thats it. I dont have any affection for them anymore. For two people that i was once very fond of, I just cant bring myself to bury the wrong and look towards the right. The worst part is, in a far dark corner of my mind i get the nagging voice that these two characters will come back and hurt us even more. That all they've already done to us was just chicken feet.
Before, when i've been upset with someone, I keep quiet about it until i've dealt with it. If the person is around, I either play hypocrite pretend like nothing is wrong or just avoid them for the sake of steering clear of any unwanted situations until i'm ready for them again. But yesterday. Yesterday she was getting in my face again. Out came the wrath of me. No mincing or sugar lining.
And it felt so good.
posted by Annushia at 7:26 AM
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