So much for wishful thinking
I woke up this morning still thinking about how you walked away, even though its been two nights since.
It amazes me, how people can assume what is bothering me and react to without confronting me about it. Agreed, that I was bothered with the circumstances. Maybe I should have told them about it instead of hoping that it coming from a different voice would sugar coat and line the situation. But I never took it out on those concern. You assume that my actions to you were because of what I thought about the whole thing. Maybe you should have taken two minutes to think that there is a possibility I was flat tonned, unresponsive and unsympathetic because I had a long day and a lot of things on my mind. Not everything is about you.
You know before that night,I was upset that you were so unwilling to try to stretch..because i thought making this happen was important to all of us. There i agree its my fault for expecting people to have the same enthusiasm as i do..and again i agree that peoples priorities differ.. and i also agree that i didn’t like it that we were second best because this was pre planned and everybody KNEW it was coming up. If it was any different from what I was thinking, the mature thing to do would have been to make me see it.
But now its so fucking petty. It’s not about the plans anymore. Its about how you treated me like a piece of furniture. And who says I have to shut up and take it.
Turn around and tell me I did the same and I’ll ask you at which point exactly because I remember every single moment of.
I agree I’m not exactly the best or easiest person to be friends with...but i never deliberately hurt my friend’s feelings just to make a point. And i take a lot of shit from a lot of ppl..and i still dun make them a peripheral . So if i've gotten to a point where she can do that so easily then maybe I should try too. Maybe its my fault you know, for getting so involved in my friends and their lives ..because that builds expectations..and that builds a false impression that you're important to them. Maybe its just so much smarter to be one of those occasional people who drop by and bring cake and buns to make up for their lack of involvement. It does seem like most people prefer interference in the form of a gift or a good night out then a concern comment or willful eye. Its a lot less hurtful that way
Someone told me that I can be very dismissive when I’m upset. That in turn makes people less likely to talk things out with me, which sets more room for assumptions and emotions to rule the day. Ironic isn’t it, cos all I want at those points is for them to talk it out with me.
At first I was just looking for hope that things would work out, and reached for another source to extend that. If that came across differently, then step up and ask me about it. Then I was angry you chose to trivialize everything we’ve had based on hearsay and assumptions. Now I’m hurt you wanted to make your point by hurting my feelings. Let me just shake your hand on that cos you did a great job there.
Call me a drama queen, but I’m not the one who rolled my eyes and ignored my friend.
It amazes me, how people can assume what is bothering me and react to without confronting me about it. Agreed, that I was bothered with the circumstances. Maybe I should have told them about it instead of hoping that it coming from a different voice would sugar coat and line the situation. But I never took it out on those concern. You assume that my actions to you were because of what I thought about the whole thing. Maybe you should have taken two minutes to think that there is a possibility I was flat tonned, unresponsive and unsympathetic because I had a long day and a lot of things on my mind. Not everything is about you.
You know before that night,I was upset that you were so unwilling to try to stretch..because i thought making this happen was important to all of us. There i agree its my fault for expecting people to have the same enthusiasm as i do..and again i agree that peoples priorities differ.. and i also agree that i didn’t like it that we were second best because this was pre planned and everybody KNEW it was coming up. If it was any different from what I was thinking, the mature thing to do would have been to make me see it.
But now its so fucking petty. It’s not about the plans anymore. Its about how you treated me like a piece of furniture. And who says I have to shut up and take it.
Turn around and tell me I did the same and I’ll ask you at which point exactly because I remember every single moment of.
I agree I’m not exactly the best or easiest person to be friends with...but i never deliberately hurt my friend’s feelings just to make a point. And i take a lot of shit from a lot of ppl..and i still dun make them a peripheral . So if i've gotten to a point where she can do that so easily then maybe I should try too. Maybe its my fault you know, for getting so involved in my friends and their lives ..because that builds expectations..and that builds a false impression that you're important to them. Maybe its just so much smarter to be one of those occasional people who drop by and bring cake and buns to make up for their lack of involvement. It does seem like most people prefer interference in the form of a gift or a good night out then a concern comment or willful eye. Its a lot less hurtful that way
Someone told me that I can be very dismissive when I’m upset. That in turn makes people less likely to talk things out with me, which sets more room for assumptions and emotions to rule the day. Ironic isn’t it, cos all I want at those points is for them to talk it out with me.
At first I was just looking for hope that things would work out, and reached for another source to extend that. If that came across differently, then step up and ask me about it. Then I was angry you chose to trivialize everything we’ve had based on hearsay and assumptions. Now I’m hurt you wanted to make your point by hurting my feelings. Let me just shake your hand on that cos you did a great job there.
Call me a drama queen, but I’m not the one who rolled my eyes and ignored my friend.
posted by Annushia at 3:38 AM
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