If the karma gods get their way..i'm screwed
I really really think i need to work on my social skills with the aged. Because i beleive in karma, and with my impatience with my grandmothers now, i will be doomed to face an old age of loneliness, rudeness and who knows, maybe even abandoned!
My other grandmother had a small accident a couple of weeks back and broke her wrist. She's had it in a cast for the past two weeks and is increasingly uncomfortable about not being able to use her left hand. She's 86. She doesnt understand the need for the POP cast. She doesnt understand that her bones are weak and brittle, thats how she can break her wrist even though she was just getting out of bed. She doesnt understand that even her body weight is too much for her bones to handle now. She doesnt understand why its been a few weeks and its still hurting.
And how many times have i visited her in this past two weeks? Twice. She lives a mere 5 minute drive away and 20 minute walk away from my house. My mom tries to coax me to go, (she visits the MIL more regularly then my dad does) but i usually decline, till guilt envelopes me. I dont go because she complains and complains, because she's (i think) going senile and repeats the same things over and over again, because every time i'm there i have to hear how my deceased grandfather is calling her, and also because sometimes she pisses on the 'modern' clothes i wear. But the point is, i just dont have to patience to entertain her, so i keep it to weekly visits and always go with someone else sto its regulated and i dont blow up and say something i'd regret.
My granny, who broke her hip a few months ago is still staying with me. Aside from needing the assistance of a walking stick, the rest of her is pretty much back to her normal self. Which also means she's back to being hard headed and somewhat demanding, wanting to go back to her old ways, which she cant and finds hard to accept. With her also, i limit conversation. I usually have idle chit chat with her when i come home from work just before she goes to bed. That also assuming i've had a good day at the office. If she tries to make conversation with me under one of those scenarios, she'd get short crisp replies. Then when she goes to bed i'd feel bad. Plus she almost always without realising will catch me at a bad time, and i would have some smart ass retort. I always feel bad after.
I swear, now i'll only feel bad. But the real hurt will come one day in the future, when my own grandchildren treat me like i'm just another person who lives in the house. Or like its ok to come over once a week, have tea and go back home.
Change la CHANGE!! Must.. change..
My other grandmother had a small accident a couple of weeks back and broke her wrist. She's had it in a cast for the past two weeks and is increasingly uncomfortable about not being able to use her left hand. She's 86. She doesnt understand the need for the POP cast. She doesnt understand that her bones are weak and brittle, thats how she can break her wrist even though she was just getting out of bed. She doesnt understand that even her body weight is too much for her bones to handle now. She doesnt understand why its been a few weeks and its still hurting.
And how many times have i visited her in this past two weeks? Twice. She lives a mere 5 minute drive away and 20 minute walk away from my house. My mom tries to coax me to go, (she visits the MIL more regularly then my dad does) but i usually decline, till guilt envelopes me. I dont go because she complains and complains, because she's (i think) going senile and repeats the same things over and over again, because every time i'm there i have to hear how my deceased grandfather is calling her, and also because sometimes she pisses on the 'modern' clothes i wear. But the point is, i just dont have to patience to entertain her, so i keep it to weekly visits and always go with someone else sto its regulated and i dont blow up and say something i'd regret.
My granny, who broke her hip a few months ago is still staying with me. Aside from needing the assistance of a walking stick, the rest of her is pretty much back to her normal self. Which also means she's back to being hard headed and somewhat demanding, wanting to go back to her old ways, which she cant and finds hard to accept. With her also, i limit conversation. I usually have idle chit chat with her when i come home from work just before she goes to bed. That also assuming i've had a good day at the office. If she tries to make conversation with me under one of those scenarios, she'd get short crisp replies. Then when she goes to bed i'd feel bad. Plus she almost always without realising will catch me at a bad time, and i would have some smart ass retort. I always feel bad after.
I swear, now i'll only feel bad. But the real hurt will come one day in the future, when my own grandchildren treat me like i'm just another person who lives in the house. Or like its ok to come over once a week, have tea and go back home.
Change la CHANGE!! Must.. change..
posted by Annushia at 6:57 AM
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