My circle of love
I always thought I was sure, 100% sure that i'd never leave this place, mainly because all the people i love are around me here. I had these idealistic thoughts that it will always be this way, that family and friends will never go away, and we'll always have this great support group and social circle. That we'll all move into our careers together, buy houses together, go to each others houses for barbeques, car pool to weddings, share gifts for when babies are born, baby-sit, complain about spouses.....have retirement parties, go for arthiritis check ups together..you get the drift.
I remember a friend telling me once, not to give up opportunities that come up even if it means leaving Malaysia simply because of people, because people don't always think about you when they take up opprtunities.
Okay that sounds cold but in many ways its true, and there is nothing wrong in them for choosing to that it up.
I drove back from work today with the post effects of a phone call i had as I was packing, with a friend who also left, to Australia to get his degree, much good getting one of those did me but since he's doing law im sure it would be a teensy bit more useful to him. We used to hang out occasionally before he left, but it was good times, times that saw us talking endlessly and laughing at each other most of the time. Good to know that he still gives me reason to laughat with him though we haven't met in like forever.
But what if its not like that with my other friends. What if when they come back it becomes awkward. And I wonder if they have these thoughts too as they're packing to leave. If their friends will still be here when/if they come back. Then why would they gooooooooooo. If it doesn't definetly for sure 100% lead to a happy ending then I'm inclined to complain!
This whole making plans to settling down 20 hours away by plane because you've found love *cue angie's f*ck love*. This whole getting married and moving to another continent. This whole finding a job in a land where hardly anyone speaks your language. This whole wanting to go to a foreign land to learn their language. This whole working to earn in a higher currency hullabulla.
Okay so i enjoy the occasional embellishment for dramatic effect.
And yes i know that all these things are really good for all those involved and in truth i am extremely happy for them. Beyond happy that they can at least decide and act on what they want. But what if its never, ever like what we have before. Wouldn't you miss it too?
I sure do....
I remember a friend telling me once, not to give up opportunities that come up even if it means leaving Malaysia simply because of people, because people don't always think about you when they take up opprtunities.
Okay that sounds cold but in many ways its true, and there is nothing wrong in them for choosing to that it up.
I drove back from work today with the post effects of a phone call i had as I was packing, with a friend who also left, to Australia to get his degree, much good getting one of those did me but since he's doing law im sure it would be a teensy bit more useful to him. We used to hang out occasionally before he left, but it was good times, times that saw us talking endlessly and laughing at each other most of the time. Good to know that he still gives me reason to laugh
But what if its not like that with my other friends. What if when they come back it becomes awkward. And I wonder if they have these thoughts too as they're packing to leave. If their friends will still be here when/if they come back. Then why would they gooooooooooo. If it doesn't definetly for sure 100% lead to a happy ending then I'm inclined to complain!
This whole making plans to settling down 20 hours away by plane because you've found love *cue angie's f*ck love*. This whole getting married and moving to another continent. This whole finding a job in a land where hardly anyone speaks your language. This whole wanting to go to a foreign land to learn their language. This whole working to earn in a higher currency hullabulla.
Okay so i enjoy the occasional embellishment for dramatic effect.
And yes i know that all these things are really good for all those involved and in truth i am extremely happy for them. Beyond happy that they can at least decide and act on what they want. But what if its never, ever like what we have before. Wouldn't you miss it too?
I sure do....
posted by Annushia at 7:23 AM
4 Comments:
avue talking about me? :( pls tell me if im over perasaning or u were talking about me... a part of it i guess...
Ermm..Its true. I feel the same way. Being in another country for a long time will change a person. For sure. When and IF they do at all come back...its possible that things will not be the same. Its very painful but I guess when opportunities spring up, most people only think of what they're getting, not of what they're leaving behind..its all quite sad actually.
aiiiiii...i know how you feel. I still miss you and everyone back home. No one here has parties like us, no one here can share the same stories about "what we did that one time?", there is no one here who will replace any body from back home.
And you are right about whinnig coz it sucks. I keep thinking that when I get home,everyone will be working while i'll be starting to look for a job and trying to adjust and i'll have all this free time, and god knows where everyone esle will be by then.
But you are a sweet thing, to worry about the rest of us like you do. And dont change that, I miss my "sweepy weepy" time, a lot!
I got a shock when I first read your post coz I thought YOU were leaving! Shows how much we keep in contact :( We need to hang out more, yeah!
I can relate to what you're saying coz I'm totally chicken shit scared of what I'll leave behind if I pack up and start afresh somewhere else. Hence I'm turning down an offer where I'll earn more than I can imagine at my age because I'm scared of what I'll be leaving behind :(
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