I am sappy this V-Day, but for a very different reason..
i know i know, valentines day is over rated and prices are hiked and whatever nonsense. All the radios can talk about is how girls want to be romanced and men dont understand girls. Big mystery it needs hours of airtime on multiple national stations.
I miss Logan the most today. No, we didn't used to have v-day traditions, fact I don't think we even wished each other when he was here. Its just that..v-day is supposed to be when you cherish those you love most right? I guess I just miss him much.
It kind of worries me, that i'm getting used to him being thousands of miles away. I hated it when he was first leaving, and I thought i'd never be able to rationalize that better opportunities are there and not here and that it makes more sense for him to go then stay. I remember how a few months after he left, i met with a tiny accident and the first thing I did was to call him all the way in Korea, not like he could actuallly do anything but i just needed the comfort.
I realised while saree shopping that I want to have him around while doing wedding stuff. Not just to help me decide on stuff, but because I always had him in the picture when i imagined planning for the wedding, not just sending him email updates and ranting over the phone. It doesn't feel right. I mean, its my wedding -- he was around for every other tiny (read: annae i need money to top up my phone) and gargantous (read: sitting in a car park wailing cause he broke my heart) thing that happened in my life and it sucks that he's not part of planning my wedding. I know I need to be adult about it and not make such a big deal about it, especially when its considered a good thing, but I don't like how life moves on like normal, and we're thousands of miles apart.
The trip to korea in august was really bittersweet for me, watching how he had settled in and done good for himself made me happy but at the same time was realization that he may not be coming back to KL as soon as i hoped he would. Selfishly, I wanted him to drop it and come home but at the same time I was awfully proud watching what he has done for himself, all by himself so far away from everyone who loves him.
Anyway, i'm not going to pretend to not be a baby about this. I miss him. I will always be a baby when it comes to him ( annae cannot scold me or not give me what i want cos thats just how its always been and how it will always be, ok!). Happy v-day annea, i heart you lots!
I miss Logan the most today. No, we didn't used to have v-day traditions, fact I don't think we even wished each other when he was here. Its just that..v-day is supposed to be when you cherish those you love most right? I guess I just miss him much.
It kind of worries me, that i'm getting used to him being thousands of miles away. I hated it when he was first leaving, and I thought i'd never be able to rationalize that better opportunities are there and not here and that it makes more sense for him to go then stay. I remember how a few months after he left, i met with a tiny accident and the first thing I did was to call him all the way in Korea, not like he could actuallly do anything but i just needed the comfort.
I realised while saree shopping that I want to have him around while doing wedding stuff. Not just to help me decide on stuff, but because I always had him in the picture when i imagined planning for the wedding, not just sending him email updates and ranting over the phone. It doesn't feel right. I mean, its my wedding -- he was around for every other tiny (read: annae i need money to top up my phone) and gargantous (read: sitting in a car park wailing cause he broke my heart) thing that happened in my life and it sucks that he's not part of planning my wedding. I know I need to be adult about it and not make such a big deal about it, especially when its considered a good thing, but I don't like how life moves on like normal, and we're thousands of miles apart.
The trip to korea in august was really bittersweet for me, watching how he had settled in and done good for himself made me happy but at the same time was realization that he may not be coming back to KL as soon as i hoped he would. Selfishly, I wanted him to drop it and come home but at the same time I was awfully proud watching what he has done for himself, all by himself so far away from everyone who loves him.
Anyway, i'm not going to pretend to not be a baby about this. I miss him. I will always be a baby when it comes to him ( annae cannot scold me or not give me what i want cos thats just how its always been and how it will always be, ok!). Happy v-day annea, i heart you lots!
posted by Annushia at 1:19 AM
2 Comments:
I love you very much wittle wister, and you will always be allowed to do all the things you always do, forever and ever.
For now we will be separated by distance, but in a just a few years, who knows? The HDB flat next door might be too close (some noises are better left unheard), but a floor or two between wouldn't be too far out.=]
crap! now she'll know where to find me if "im working late"
Aji
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