Kakak pulang

My kakak will be leaving tomorrow. Not by choice. Thanks to the new over cautiuos ruling recently implemented, because Kakak had TB as a child they aren't renewing her visa.

She broke down when we told her. I feel bad for her more because she's the sole breadwinner in her family and she has a jobless jackass of a husband who calls her only when he wants money. Yes, your classic tragic story.

I am undecided yet if i will miss her. I know for a fact that the time she was with us was too short for me to grow to love her, but I have become comfortable with having her around the house and i guess that i'll miss. Thank goodness my mom stressed right from the beginning that kakak was here to help granny and not serve us so i continued with my usual chores, else then i will miss her for sure, as I get comfortable when people start doing things for me, and just let them. Hey, at least i have no shame about admitting it.

But she did spoil me in certain ways. She would always run out and open the gate outside upon hearing the beep of my horn. She would fold my laundry on days i came home late. She always kept food for me, even though i told her i had already eaten. And as much as it makes me feel guilty to say this, she spoilt me by spending all her time with granny, because that allowed me to do other things.

I hope she has a good life back in Indonesia, and that her family don't squander all her savings. It will take another 8 weeks before we get a new kakak, hopefully by then, she's found something new to do.

And I feel especially bad for granny because she has to keep readjusting to the new help everytime.
That's kakak and granny in the photo..

Question is, how badly..

In an effort to deliberately pass time at work today, I randomly surfed through my contacts in Friendster. I don't go to Friendster very often, only when some one adds me in or sends me a message. More often then not, I find the email alerts on every update by a contact extremely annoying. Except when it highlights the birth date's of close friends which i've forgotten, then its very useful.

Anyway, this is not about Friendster.

I was looking for means to waste time, being half brain dead i figured i'd click on one of those alerts. And the one i chose took me to the blog of someone i knew in high school. Honestly, we were never close in school, in fact, I forgot all about her until she added me in as a contact some time last year. It actually took me awhile to figure out who she was because she looked so different.

As I found myself being more and more intrigued by her blog entries, i gathered that her appearance wasn't the only thing that had changed. In school, I remember her as slightly on the plump side. Now she's a skinny little thing in fancy tiny clothes. In school, we hardly had much conversation because she mostly spoke malay and i mostly spoke english. I was blown away by how she had mastered the english language, judging by the use of words in the entries.

She now lives in the UK and has been for the past few years. I don't know what exactly she does, but I know she has a 9 - 5 job which she doesn't like, but which colleagues she loves. She writes how she works her tail off all day, then heads for a run at the gym, or rushes to meet her colleagues/mates at the neighbourhood pub. She writes of Christmas/birthday/surprise parties where she has way too many martinis and ends up doing typical drunken acts. And about how difficult it is for her to meet an Asian guy she can get along with, and now much to her family's dismay has found the missing piece in a handsome Brit. She writes about her passion for shoes, and cake, and the simple joy of coming home after a long activity filled weekend to sit in the bath tub in a quiet apartment.

She also bitches about her boss is a dick but she sticks with it cause the money is good, how she hates the crowds in the train, how eractic UK weather can be. About how she has to travel hours to visit fellow Malaysian friends, how Malaysian friends when she meets em says she's this and that and this and that, mostly not nice. About how it can get lonely sometimes.

I realised, as I read on, the reason that kept me so intrigued, was because all that she talked about, was all that I've always wanted to experience. Being away, doing things I want to do, managing on my own, good and bad. To learn for myself, that its not like what you see on TV.

Still want to actually.

At least its a lil better with technology

The comfort in hearing someone's voice is amazing. A lot of people underestimate the value of being able to talk to someone anytime until they aren't able to and then they wished they did.

Another reason for me to love my mobile phone and my service provider! I called Logan from my phone, and a 9 minute call cost me 5 RM, which is pretty alright la. Talking gives you so much more emotion then emails, and the feelings phone calls leave you with are always more intense even though you'd have had the same content in both forms of communication. Aji and I can both attest to that!

Anyway, I had to share the airtime with my mom though. She hovers right next to me as soon as she heard me. And then she hogs the phone and says something sarcastic like 'your sister is hopping on one foot to talk to you' when i ask for it back..chis. Too much isn't it :)

I've been listening to the 'Oh Happy Day' song a lot these past couple of days, and its kind of lifting my spirits bit by bit. Which is a little odd, because the last thing i expected was a song about God to help me feel better. Okay very odd. But at Tate said, you don't have to believe in it to let it take effect on you. Or something like that. Basically he meant, whatever works.

Phone calls work!