Half Empty or Half Full..

I’m not really a big believer of signs. I’m tempted to take everything that happens around me as signs towards how my life should be directed hence forth, I then realize for that to happen I need to have some remote idea of where I want it to go at least. Otherwise signs just seem negative regardless of how positively they’re being injected into daily activity.

I wonder, if one knows that the direction they are heading in isn’t something that will necessarily end well, with things around them happening to somewhat support that idea, if they’re able to merely tell themselves enough times that it will be well, whether it will really be well. And if they do enough things to counter that instinct that it isn’t going well, will the gods get together and make things a happy little ending, just because one tried hard enough, and repeated it like a mantra in ones head..but didn’t really believe enough?

You want to believe that if you tried hard enough for something it will work out for you, but if it doesn’t, you don’t know if you should stop believing or stop trying.

Which is worse, having no idea where you’re going, or knowing that something isn’t right and yet going towards it? Or knowing that its a 50/50 and not sure if you want it to go well or not so well..? Hmmm..?

Going along

I thought picking up the dress would be the finality of things. But returning his things carries a whole different kind of sting.

I couldn't bear to look at it when it was hanging in my wardrobe, but now I keep peeping through the doors hoping to find the bright orange suit jacket.

Things should just be things, and not stand for so many symbolic meanings. At least I wish I could look at it that way..

I am sappy. I am emotional. When I give myself to something I give my all. When my all isn't enough, the hardest part is picking up the pieces as I go along.

And with the help of you, you and you.. I am going along.